About a month ago I discovered that my back pain was caused by my lack of core strength, to which my frustrated response was, “Doh!”
It felt stupid to say the least but I pulled my ego back off of the floor and went to work.
After several weeks of working with a couple of physical trainers I started to feel really good. I felt pretty confident in my building strength and could see a light at the end of the tunnel in which I would be able to do yoga again or pick up whatever item I wanted off of the floor with little to no pain (it’s the small achievements people); until today.
Today I woke up with pain, old pain reminiscent of the days before physical therapy started. I had an early morning session and didn’t get much sleep last night so I just figured I must be stiff and could walk it off as the day went on. When I went to tie my rad sneakers however, I couldn’t get back up so… I started to worry a bit.
Once my physical therapist took one look at me she knew I was hurting (and here I thought I was doing good, you know standing and everything). When it got down to it I learned not only did my lack of core strength put me in this place to begin with, but also I stand and walk incorrectly. My therapist showed me that without even realizing, I put too much pressure onto my right side causing all sorts of pain hiccups to deal with.
So as I lay on a heating pad while trying to align my hips, I started thinking how these sessions are not just physically helping me but mentally as well, opening a whole new perspective onto my own strength. I realized that the power to both heal and harm my body lies within me. Once again I found myself needing to retrain my brain to do the best thing for me.
But it’s so hard! It’s such a simple concept but so hard to follow through. Trying to mentally zap myself with each incorrect movement or stance is difficult and sometimes seems like a lost cause but I have to keep with it. I don’t want to be in constant pain and more to the point I hate the idea of myself being the cause of it, but if I am honest with myself I know that I am and always have been. This moment now is physical but I know it runs deeper than joints and muscles, I know I hurt myself emotionally with incorrect and behavioral habits of the mind. Whatever my past reasons for doing so need to be irrelevant, as I can understand now they no longer serve a purpose.
While these revelations at time seem overwhelming (because I literally feel like I am one big ball of wrong) they are welcome. They are a part of the discovery of my core and the start to a happier being.
How are you hurting yourself? Whatever it is I believe you can stop it with determination and want. I’m on a journey that seems a bit overdue but I have faith that it will all start to make sense as I progress. The pain we give ourselves can be turned in for something better once we realize the command we truly hold.